I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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