I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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