The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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