so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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