Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
