I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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