I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly