if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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