I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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