I molested 6 butterflies tonight
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo