Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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