i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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