Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize