I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize