They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
