Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
