Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
