White coat. Heels.
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I think I sprained my soul last night
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
