Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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