Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
