What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
