i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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