she woke up with a sticky ear
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
