mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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