she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
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then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
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Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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