1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
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I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
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Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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