That's when you crack a 10am beer
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
