what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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