What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
