I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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