Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He uses pillows to masturbate.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
