Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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