I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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