dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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