Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
