i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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