And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
