I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
