I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
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