I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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