Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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