The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
