Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
vagina is talking i cant
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
