She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
