Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
