So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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