My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
