he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
