Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
This baby is an asshole
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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