Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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