she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
