I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
