chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
