Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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