Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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