I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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