garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
