Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
