I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
