if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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