i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
