when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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