The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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