Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
