shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
