It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
