Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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