I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
