DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
