grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Randomize
