you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
