Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Randomize
