Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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