he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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