What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
